SPEAKER_01 0:12

Hi, my name's Brendan O'Sullivan, a Toastmaster from Brisbane, Australia. Welcome to my Toastmasters World Tour podcast. Please join me as I travel virtually around the world and chat to Toastmasters from different countries and all walks of life. Let's explore. So, Bona Harriet, welcome to the show. Could you please tell us a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Oh, so bonner to you too. Yes, absolutely. I'm happy to share a bit about myself. So, my name is Harriet Tinker, and I'm a professional chattered professional accountant, but I wear many hats. I'm a keynote speaker here in Canada, and I work a lot with the young people, helping them to overcome any obstacles that they're going through. I also work with companies in helping them with the what I call the visibility strategy, which is helping people work with their company to be able to be seen and become more productive. And many other things. I'm also an ultra marathon runner and I enjoy just enjoy life.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Oh my goodness, I don't know where you find the time. That's amazing. How does that go when you do that Swabona work with your companies?

SPEAKER_00 2:05

So, Saurbona, what I do is companies will call me and they would say, you know, we are having low retention, low productivity, that sort of thing. So what I'll do, I'll, of course, I'll ask them the key question where their problems are, and then I'll come in and I'll do a keynote on what I call Saubona, which is we see you. So it's helping the leaders see the people who feel unseen, like that new employee. Maybe somebody who's been working forever for the company and doesn't feel that they're adding value. So I help them to see with strategies that they can use to help the company and to also help the people who feel unseen feel seen so they can be even more productive for the for the company.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Yeah, that's why I greeted you with Sword Bonner at the start of the podcast, because it's that very special word. And I first heard it uh when I was fortunate enough to see you on the world stage, uh, Anaheim and the World Championships of Public Speaking in 2024. Like the rest of the audience, I was captivated and blown away by it. So, first of all, congratulations on such a powerful, impactful, and memorable speech. Could you tell us a bit more about what the word it means and what it means to you?

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Oh, absolutely. Now, for your listeners that are listening that may not be familiar with the word, so Sao Bona is a Zulu greeting. So if I met you, I would say Sao Bona, just like what you you mentioned when we started the podcast. That word the translation is I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being. It's an invitation to set that conversation, and your response would be ye bo. Yes, I see you too.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

And there's another one, seekona. What's that mean?

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Yes, so there's two ways you can say yebo saubona, or you can say seekona, I am here. So there's two ways that you can do the greeting can say saobona, yebo saobona, or saubona se kona, which means I yeah, I see you too, or I am here.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

I believe as a teenager you had quite a powerful experience using that word. Did you want to tell us a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yes. So when growing up in Kenya, I I don't know if you played hide and seek when you're when you're young.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Right, fine. So growing up, my family, I was I have uh seven siblings, and my father always wanted us to play the game Saubona, which is I see you. So it's similar to hide and seek. So I would go, I'd run around, I would hide, and my father, who is almost seven foot tall, would hide and we'll always find him because he's too tall. It was difficult for him to hide. But whenever I heard my father say, Saoubona, I knew that he had found me. And having seven siblings, it was so easy for us to feel unseen. But my father always made us feel seen. So that word became basically our culture, our word. So whenever we were feeling sad or lonely, my father said, Hey, Sawbona, I see you. And you know, it really kind of changes the the whatever mood you're going through at that point. Because you know, somebody sees you, somebody understands you, somebody's there to uplift you when you're feeling down.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

I love that. That's beautiful. And you used that word as a teenager, and there's a pretty special story behind that.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Yes, there was a story that I used for my world champion for public speaking. So when we used the word Sao Bona back in Kenya, in Kenya, we moved to Canada. And I thought maybe the Canadians use the same word, but they use something different. And when I was going to school, I noticed because my father had taught us to always notice everybody and always treat everybody like they are human beings and not better than you, we're all the same. So when I was in school, I noticed a young man, same age as me, sitting in the cafeteria every day by himself, eating lunch by himself. So I told my father, his name was Lonnie, the boy in my school, he always sits alone, it's alone, everybody ignores him. He always has his hair covered in his face. And I told my father, I don't know how he feels. He's always alone. So my father said, you know what, why don't you just go say Saubona to him? And I was like, say that to a boy. I was like, Delightable. Yeah, I was quite nervous. So I did. One day I kind of tiptoed and I saw him. He was still busy looking down. He didn't have a cell phone or anything, he was just looking down aimlessly. And I went up to him and I said, Lonnie, Sawbona! And he looked at me and he said, What? I said, Uh, that's hello in Zulu. So he shook his head and he looked away. I was so embarrassed when he said that. So when he said that, I went to my dad and I told him I said that to him and I was so embarrassed. I'll never talk to him again. And my dad said, Harriet, just keep trying, keep trying. Sometimes you have to keep trying even more than you want to. So I did. I would say so, but he never said anything to me for weeks and weeks. And this is also part of my speech. So for weeks and weeks he would not say hi. And I found out more about him from other students that he was uh his mom and him just moved from school to school. So, and he was always shy to make friends. He didn't feel he felt like he didn't belong anywhere. But even at school, people sometimes ignore him or laugh at him and all that. But I tried so much to support him and just tried to make him feel seen, but he didn't want my attention. But once once one day I caught him looking uh towards me when I was standing by my locker.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

And I said, Oh, he noticed me. Maybe that's his will, his version of Saulbona. And then at the end of the school year, actually, I heard that he was leaving again. And I told my dad, he said, Well, maybe, you know, maybe his family has to move on. But it's a good thing you kept saying Sawbonna to him. And I did. It was almost like two or three months I kept saying, and nothing. But then one of the biggest things I still have the letter, he gave me a letter that basically was so heartfelt. Like if I remember, I don't have it here, but I've kept it over the years. It was a letter saying, Thank you for noticing me. I always felt so alone. But whenever I saw you and you said Sao Bonna to me, I felt like I belonged. And he said there was many times he wanted to take his own life, but knowing that seeing me the next day just gave him so much joy. And he said, Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yeah. I mean, you don't know what people are going through. Yeah, you don't know what people are going through, do you? And and you don't realize the impact of something as simple as just saying so bono or hi. Was Lorne was Lorney um Kenyan or African in background, that would he have known on the word?

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Yeah, he was. He was Canadian actually. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and he just he looked so like he needed somebody to be there with him, but nobody really paid attention to him.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

What a beautiful thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Because I was surprised, I'd never seen that. I just was surprised to see somebody sits alone by himself. And I noticed that there's a lot of people going through so much who just don't know their story. Exactly. And just saying hi to them, noticing them, just can make a whole world of a difference to them.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

100%. Yeah. Well done to you. That's powerful stuff. And a great lesson to us all, I think. All right. Well, let's go back a little bit because I'd be interested to know when you joined Toastmasters and what was your first club?

SPEAKER_00 9:57

Oh, I joined Toastmasters in 2016. And the reason I joined, I wasn't really going to join. I was just walking in the hallways, and a friend of mine was in a rush, and she said, Oh, I asked, Where are you going? He said, Oh, I'm going to Toastmasters. And I said, What is that? She said, Oh, it's public speaking. And I asked, Is there food? Because food motivates me. Said, Oh yeah, there'll be some food there. So I went. Unfortunately, they only had crackers. That was us, there's no food here. But when I sat down and I listened to the speaker, it was very parliamentary. So I've never seen anything like that. Like, thank you, Mr. Toastmaster, Madam Toastmaster. And it was all everything started at 12 and it ended at exactly one o'clock. And there was some evaluation. In fact, they asked me to be a table topic speaker and I didn't know what to say. But in the end, I actually they voted for me and I won. Oh, that's exciting. So that was my journey to go back again. And I went back and I actually began to enjoy it. And it was probably four sessions later that I decided to join Toastmasters.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Was that in Edmonton?

SPEAKER_00 11:04

It was uh yeah in Edmonton, yeah, Edmonton, Canada. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Okay. What was can I ask the name of the club?

SPEAKER_00 11:11

It was the way we speak.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

That's cool. I like that name. That's a nice name.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah, it was a beautiful, beautiful name there. I don't know how they came up with it, but it aligned with what we were doing.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

You decided to join. What did you expect to get out of it?

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Initially, of course, I was going for the food. But after I went a couple of times, I thought to myself, I noticed how people were speaking so confidently. And I thought to myself, wow, I want to be that way. Because there's one particular, she was my mentor. She spoke so well and she was elegant, and she just go, she would just stand up and make a speech without even looking at her notes. And I thought, wow, I I would love to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

So I just I and I went online and I started studying different Toastmasters because it really created a bug in me. I said, I want to be just like them. So I started, I started uh looking at what other Toastmasters were doing, and I started even participating in competitions. Yeah, I said, wow, if you're gonna be a better speaker, you need to start competing. So I started to as soon as I got my qualifications, I think you needed like two pathways at the time they were called communication and leadership sessions. You needed just a few of them. I can't remember what exactly. Yeah, yeah. And I was able to qualify and I competed. My very first speech, I won in club level. Well, there's really no mines. And then I went up to area level and I lost.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

It did well with it. Yeah. That's awesome. I mean, it's very empowering, isn't it? Obviously, the empowerment and the you know the impact that you could see public speaking had is what drew you in rather than a specific motivation for work necessarily by the sounds of things.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

That's awesome. So you got right into it. How many clubs have you been a member of, Harriet?

SPEAKER_00 13:10

This year I'm only a member of two clubs, but over the years I have four clubs. And they're all so different. So I had one club in Nigeria called Nante Club, and then there's uh one in the US, Contest Mastery, and then two of them in Canada, which is The Way We Speak, and Brownlee's Best. So four in total. And because this year I'm working on my PhD, I said, okay, I gotta kind of trim down on the club because I I'm paying all these membership fees, but I'm not able to attend, and and I still need to develop my public speaking, so I still go in as a guest for the other clubs anyway, but not as often. But uh I'm always with my home club every Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

So you've been on the world stage, but you still feel like you need to develop your public speaking.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Oh, yes, yes. There's always room for improvement no matter how good you are, and I'm always excited to compete. I love that spirit. It just makes you a better speaker.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Yeah, sure. I I love that spirit. Do you think you're going to try and get on the world stage again? Are you gonna compete again?

SPEAKER_00 14:21

I'm always competing. I just competed in the fall with my other club and I won uh because you only went to division because it's just it didn't go up to district. We only decided to do it up to division just to help us become better speakers. It was for an international speech, but online speech. So I did win that. And I also won a humorous speech last year. So I I'm not really funny. I'm not funny.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

I don't I don't know that I believe that. What what was your humorous speech on?

SPEAKER_00 14:50

It was actually my my humorous speech was making fun of Toastmaster.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

Now I'm even more interested. It was probably it's probably it's probably not recorded anywhere, is it?

SPEAKER_00 15:02

They might have recorded it online, but yeah, it was really funny. I was making fun of Toastmaster. It was so hilarious. Even when I look back at what I did, I'm like, I am so good. But I'm not funny.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

And the and the audience enjoyed it, though.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

They did because they could relate to it.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

Yeah, well, I wish I'd say that. That sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

It was it was good the way I did it because the way I presented it is I went in, I talked about the first time I was a Toastmaster, and I won I I was the best table topic speaker. I was like, wow, I'm just that good. And and the next time I came in, I won best table topic, best table topic speaker, best evaluator, and most exemplary speaker. So I was like, oh my gosh, I'm just that good. That was for my ego. So what I decided to do, I was gonna open up my own club called Boastmasters. Like compare boastmaster and toastmaster back and forth. It was just funny.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

Love it.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Where the egos are made, you know where the leaders are made in Toastmasters? Where the egos are made. You have to kind of see it. If you compare the two, you're like, oh my gosh. Because the one of the other things I'll I'll end here, but so how Toastmaster has pathways and it's such a slow process. But in Bostmasters, we have expressways.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

I would thoroughly enjoy that. So getting back to the fact that you getting back to the fact that you've been a Toastmaster in both you know North America and in Nigeria, was that in Lagos?

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Yeah, Lagos, West Africa.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

No, I mean, obviously each country has its own native language and culture. Although I believe in Nigeria the you know the um national language is English, but they've got 500 other languages. But I'm wondering what impact language and culture locally has on the Toastmasters experience. Being from member of clubs in different countries, have you noticed any differences?

SPEAKER_00 17:14

I have, because I also go to different clubs in Asia as well, in Korea and Osaka, and they're all so different. Yeah, the content is the same, you know, having the Toastmaster, you know, the the flow is the same.

unknown 17:27

True.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

Toastmaster of the year, but they all do it really differently. What I found interesting about in Nigeria, they're very um, it's it's very almost very formal. And they like to use quotes. Like they'll use like XYZ said this in a quote, and the whole entire speech is on that. Maybe like I can think of a a leader, let's say, um, what's his name? Like George Maxwell. Is it Maxwell? I can't remember his first name, but he's he's in leadership. So say, like XYZ said, leadership is about influence, and everybody is focused on that as a theme. So they all talk about that as a theme. And it's so interesting the way they do it. And in my other club, for example, here in Canada, we'll have it's more fun, like we'll have chocolate theme, and everybody comes in with a chocolate, or you have a day where it's uh maybe it's Halloween, and we all come in with costumes on and that sort of thing. So they're all so different. Some are very formal, some laid back, some just follow the rules. They don't break the rules. It's almost there's no laughing. We must follow the rules and not have too much fun. So it's always funny to go. But at the end of the day, they're all working on their public speaking skills their own way. So I always enjoy going to different clubs. And by doing that, I think I've picked up a lot of little things from each club that's made me even a better speaker and a better evaluator.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Yeah, what's have you got any examples of that?

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Um, like as an evaluator, I'll see based on um, like based on the way the club is and the way they speak, I can give feedback to that particular speaker based on what I know. Maybe I learned something from another club. Maybe I should use a certain way of staging, because in this particular area they don't talk a lot about staging. So I'll pick up what I use in another club that I notice in this club they don't use, and I'll learn from them and they'll learn from me. So it's just using little things you learn from here to there. Or even um dialogue. A lot of uh evaluators don't talk about dialogue. Like when I'm saying something like, she said this, and then he said this, and then she said this. So I encourage them, use dialogue instead of saying he said, just say, just be it, become that.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

I like that.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

That you say something like uh, I want you to take me home. I don't want to go home. So instead of saying she said she wanted to be taken home, and then I said, I don't want to go home. So in that way, I helped the speaker. Do you just get into that scene instead of telling me about it? Yes, you're more immersed in it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

I love that. Yeah, I think that's it. Things like that. You notice some differences in Nigeria, but you've also visited some Asian clubs. Did you notice any differences there?

SPEAKER_00 20:17

They're very with them. I think grammar, the grammarian part of it is seems to be very important. Like they spend more time in the grammarian evaluation versus um um, like we just do grammarian and said, Oh, you spoke well here, you spoke here, this was good. But they'll say, Okay, your sentence here, you said XYZ, you should try and do it this, this, this. So it's it's almost like they really want their grammar to be really well spoken. Because if you go in the international stage, grammar is very important. And if it's your second language, it's always difficult. So a lot of those other clubs that I've been to, like the one I was in Osaka once, and I was one in a Korea, and they're very, very much on the grammar side of the Toastmaster.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

That's interesting, but it doesn't surprise me at all that rings true. That because it, as you said, it's their second language, and I know that they're very keen to get it right, it sort of makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Whereas your Canadian um club sound a lot more similar to my home club here. For example, yeah, I mean, we have themes to each meeting, and our next meeting's theme is yet to be decided, but with Valentine's only a week away, it's usually Valentine's Day. Has that ever been a theme at any of your club meetings?

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Yeah, yeah. It's a I think what we try to whatever's happening out there, it could be chocolate day, it could be national day of something. So whoever the Toastmaster of the day will decide. Like we we can even set it to be Valentine's Day, and somebody will say, ah no, I don't want Valentine's Day to be the theme. So the Toastmaster will decide. But it makes sense to go with what's happening in the world. So it's easier and we all can talk about it and be better speakers that way.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Yeah. Can you tell us a bit about your journey from club contest to the world championship public speaking stage?

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Absolutely. So I've been on the world stage twice. Now, the way I set it off, my preparation, as you know, it says from area, it's seventh series, I guess. Um it's you said at the at the club level. So I was at the club, then area, then division, then district, and then after district, you'd be competing with your region. So I was in region four. So in region four, I believe we had like six or seven districts, or maybe even ten, I can't remember on top of my head. But there were several districts. So what they would do, uh the judges would all sit one particular day and they'll listen to all the speeches, and then they'll pick the top two. And then for those top two, we go to the semifinals, and then we compete, all of us. There's different semifinals. Usually there's four semifinals, so seven people in each, 28 speakers in total. And out of those four semifinals, only the top two advanced to become a finalist for the world champion for public speaking. So for me, I have only uh made it twice to the semifinals.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

I I did I made it in 2022 in Nashville.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

And then in 2024 in Anaheim.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Okay. And did you have any help along the way?

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Oh, yeah. So when I start doing my speech, you said with the one speech, usually I do anyway, and I use the same speech all throughout. And I will set, like for this year, I started my speech last year and I test it out because you it's gonna be an international speech. You want to make sure the words that you're using are very international.

SPEAKER_03 23:52

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Because when I did my speech in 2022, it was about the three bags. Like in my in Canada, you can say the three bags of manure, which is like, but when I went to other countries, I could not use the word manure. It means something totally different. So you have to make sure the words that you're using are international and they're not offensive, and they mean the same thing all over the world. So I would test my speech in Canada, I went to the US, I went to Africa, I went all over the world. So I'll take my speech everywhere. Yeah. So I would say I spent I must have probably 400 times I've practiced that speech over and over by the time we get to the world stage. And I yes, I did get coaching. I didn't get coaching when I was at district. Once you win your district and you make semifinals, a lot of the coaches will connect with you. Like I did, I did connect with uh Variety Price, who was one of my coaches. Darren Lacroix, Mark, Mark Brown, and Ed Tate. And all they've been world champions, and they're really, really good. You don't need all, you don't need all four of them. You don't, you you really need just one main coach because they're all gonna give you different feedback. And you're gonna be so overwhelmed. So you need one main coach. You can still go to the others, and whatever feedback you get from the others, you bring back to your main coach so that it's very it's flowing and it's consistent and you're not overwhelmed. And I found if I was to do it again, I would just get one coach and just focus with them and just work with them over and over. Because sometimes it it's too much coaching.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Yeah, it makes sense. It reminds me of the saying, too many cooks spoil the broth.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

That's right, yeah, exactly. Yeah, too many cooks, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Was it helpful, did you find with the coaching?

SPEAKER_00 25:49

It was, it was very, very helpful. I really enjoyed it. I learned how to write a speech, how to make an impact, and how to just you can write a really good speak with just a simple, it doesn't even have to be difficult. It's about the message. Like you can even present a speech on how to how your grandmother taught you how to cook an egg or boil an egg. And it's about the message and the impact.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

And the delivery, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 26:16

And delivery, yes, yeah. Like the hero's journey. Like you have to have a guru. You don't want to be the guru in your speech. You just want to be the hero. There's just a lot of things that I I have learned over the years to just how to write a speech that's gonna make an impact in the world.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

And did you find that you s you started out with the saw bonus speech in club level and took it all the way to the world stage? Did you f and you probably I imagine it was being tweaked a bit along the way each time you practiced it and got feedback? Did it did the original speech and the end speech was there, were they still basically the same, or they had they changed a lot?

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Actually, Sao Borna was not supposed to be, it was not the speech I set it off. That was supposed I had two, because you have to have two speeches for the world champion. Sao Borna, I had Sao Borna and I had the gift. The gift was the speech that got me to district and it got me to the world champion. But on the day on when I get into the semifinals, I had to decide between which of the two speeches is strong enough to get me to the finals. So what I would recommend anybody, this is just my opinion, of course, having gone through it, the one that got me to semifinals is the speech that I should have used. Because that was such a strong speech, I'd spent so much time and it got so many feed so a lot of feedback. So Bonner was is more of a world champion. But the semifinal my speech that I worked with was strong enough to get me to the world champion, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Yeah. What was the gift about? I haven't seen that.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

It was uh it was about share your story. And that's the one I'm I'll probably be using. But once you've had a speech go into the world champion, you can never use it again. So I can never use Sao Bonna ever again on the world speech. It's done.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

So the gift is about share your story.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

It's about uh it's about my personal story, what I went through. And because I went through and I overcame those challenges, I'm encouraging other people, whatever your story is, share your story, whether it's about challenges you've gone through, don't keep it inside. Because my message was uh um I'm trying to remember the foundational phrase. I was um you share your story. It's a gift. I I I'm trying to remember the foundational phrase on top of my head, but it was um when you hide what you're going through, you keep it silent, it gets worse. And it it doesn't, it just affects you mentally. It affects everything that you're going through. So basically, my story was about how I was kidnapped, stabbed, and left for dead.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Good enough.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

So yeah, so but the thing is I'm trying I try not to let people focus on that. It's not about the whole thing, it's about what I had to go through. And because that happened to me, now I'm out there helping women or men who have been impacted by domestic violence. Yeah, so it's basically to help other people know that your story is valid and you can probably help other people who are going through the same thing by sharing your story. I remember now it's healing is hindered by silence. Share your story. So that was kind of my foundational phrase, and that's a story, that's an that's the speech that I should have. It doesn't, I guess I it should have, would have doesn't make a difference. But if I was to do it again, that would probably have been the speech that I would have presented. But I can go back. Whatever speech that was meant to happen is a speech that I presented in Anaheim. But so Sao Bona should have been my world champion, and then the gift would have been my semifinal speech.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Sure. So because you use Sao Bona, you can't use that again.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Not on the world stage.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

That's right. But you could use the gift again?

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I can use that. That never went anywhere. It only went up to the district level.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

I see. I mean, I look, I really admire people like yourself that can share those really personal stories. I I don't know that I'm that brave, but I I totally agree with the sentiment. Did it take a lot of bravery to get up there and be your soul to the world?

SPEAKER_00 30:36

You can't heal, you can't use the stage to heal. You have to already have healed. So for me, I'd already been volunteering in the women's shelters and I've already shared my story. I've seen how my story really helped a lot of the women in the women's shelter, women who have been impacted by domestic violence, I would volunteer there and I'll see the same women coming back over and over again. And then when I'll share my story and say, you can get through this. You just have to really be strong enough. And I'll give you it, it's not just about being strong enough. There's a lot a lot of other things, but when they see me and they uh because I don't look like my story, so they'll look at me and they're like, oh, you've gone through it, and you're here helping us, then maybe there's hope. So what I give them is hope to know that they can also get through it.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Yeah, I see that. Yeah, that's leading by example. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Well, I'm really blown away by that. The gift was your original speech that you took from club club level all the way to district, and you practiced that over 400 times, and that was being tweaked along the way. So did the original speech of the gift and the and the end speech at the district level was was there much difference? Were they just minor tweaks, or did they get it morph a lot?

SPEAKER_00 31:57

It's so different because I started off thinking this good story, it's amazing. And they won a club level. I was like, woo-hoo, I'm so good. And then I went to area, you know, I would I still I won. I think division is probably one of the toughest levels, I would say, because you're now competing with people who are even stronger and better. So I started going to different clubs all over the world. And I would ask them what's missing, where's the gap? You just have to ask, because you don't, there's feedback, you don't want people to give you feedback. You sounded good, your voice was loud. You want you want the content. At that level, you're not worried about the delivery yet. You want to make sure the speech is strong. Delivery will show will come. It's just you want to make sure the message is clear. What is my message? What is missing? What is the gap? And what so I usually ask, what's my message? What's missing? And what did you like and what did you not like? So giving feedback like that will tell you, they're like, oh, what's missing? Because there was a when I set off my speech, one of the things that I did is I went to volunteer, and they told me my transformation was just too quick. You can't just go volunteer and all of a sudden you feel better. Because when you do a speech, you're trying to shorten it, but you also need to make sure the transformation is realistic. Because one of the things you my mom was giving me advice. I can't just take advice and say, Oh, okay, mom, I'm gonna change and I'm gonna start sharing my story. That's not realistic. It's too quick. There has to be something there. So it was, I talked to my mom, then I went to volunteer. It was three months later, I started understanding. So that's transformation is more realistic. But in my original story, I was like, my mom told me healing is hindered by silence. Share your story. All of a sudden I started to share my story. And everybody was like, that's not realistic. You can't just have your mom tell you, you share your story, and oh wow, that's realistic. It has to be more realistic. So it's little things like that, because when you're in your story, you know what happened, you know the gaps, but other people listening to you are wondering, what is happening? How did you get from here to there? And you're like, oh, I need to add that into my story. So then you go back to your and draft it and do it, and then you go to another club, and then somebody else will say something to you. Okay, I need to add that into my speech. So you keep going and you don't always change everything. You just ask, if I take this out, is it moving my story? If I add it in, is it actually adding to my story? Because sometimes people will tell you feedback based on what they would do, but it's not landing for you. So it has to be able to land so that you know the world can really understand it from an international level.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

Yeah. And I guess this audience is sitting there trying to relate and deciding does this how does this make me feel? Does this feel right? Can I uh you know relate to it? Does it feel authentic?

unknown 35:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

And I guess I guess the the risk in having people advise you and morphing your speech a lot, you know, you want to stay true to yourself and authentic, don't you? Was that was there was there a sort of a battle there to stay authentic?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

It was initially like it when I did it in 2022, because I was kind of like a new kid on the block. I didn't know everybody would tell me something, I'll go back and I'll change it and I'll keep changing it, and whatever they say, I was like, oh, that's good. I'll add it. And then I got so overwhelmed. I was like, oh my god. And I didn't have a coach at the time. I was just basically listening to people and doing it. And I ended up winning. I was like surprised, like, oh, how did I make it to the semifinals? And one of the things when I made it to the semifinals and then I didn't advance, that was actually hard for me because I think my goal was to win. And when I didn't win, I was so upset. So when you're doing your speech, it's not you should not focus on the trophy. My my lesson was it's about the impact. Because what happened on in 2022, only they advanced. And when they called the two names, they didn't call me. What happened is uh the top two people did not get anybody going to talk to them. Everybody came to me because they all said my speech made such an impact to them, even though I didn't place. But when I had just, I didn't win, I was just in a moment, I just wanted people to leave me alone. I wanted to go in my in the hotel room and cry myself. Meanwhile, everybody's like so I was surrounded by over 30 people, even though I didn't advance, saying your speech was so impactful. I loved your speech. I now you've given me hope. Meanwhile, the person who won, her speech was just funny, but there was no emotions.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

So is the difference when you share a speech, don't focus on the trophy, focus on the impact you're making in the audience. So that was the lesson I learned in 2022. So I used that again when I came back in 2024.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

I love that. And look, in 2024, I was one of those groupies that was just so moved and uh impressed with your speech that I came and that's how we first met.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

That was great. In 2024, I was all about the impact. Even when I didn't advance, I was actually okay. But I was also second guessing myself saying I should have used the gift instead of Saubana. But it was funny because all the world champs would always see me say, Hey, Harriet, Sao Bonner. I'm like, so it was kind of nice. He was a good speech.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

Yeah. Talk a bit about the aftermath of the of the like 2024 World Championships. You know, what has been the aftermath of that? Has there been any, you know, extra attention or anything that sort of uh resulted from being on that world stage?

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Well, I've actually since then I've gotten to a lot of uh, including your club, of course. I've talked to a lot of clubs. I also got a lot of keynote speech paid, not free, or paid keynote speeches that I've done uh around the world, mostly in here in Edmonton. So I go to a lot of communities because they they always tell me there's always that one person who does not feel seen. And by sharing this story, it really opens up conversations. Especially now, you know, especially during after the pandemic, there's still a lot of people who were still going through it, feeling alone, feeling unseen, feeling lonely, isolated. So they say when I share this speech with the community or with the organizations, people kind of realize, oh my goodness, we need to start seeing other people. Because nobody knows what's going on in anybody's life until you've walked into their shoes. And you can't walk in anyone's shoes. We all have our own shoes that we're walking in. But by coming in and just talking to students in schools, organizations, and just telling them it's just as simple as acknowledging other people. Just say hi. Even to a stranger, even when you come when I go to a building and I see a security guard guard, I I say hi. Everybody needs to be seen. Just because they're doing a job that you don't think you you're qualified for or you don't think you'd want to do that role. Just say hi. Even when you go to restaurants and somebody's serving you, be nice. You don't have to be just acknowledge them. Everybody, even if somebody's cleaning the house or working in a hotel, they too have a family. They need to be acknowledged. So that's made a big difference in a lot of the organizations I go to.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Couldn't agree more. That's a fabulous message. It's my impression that most people join Toastmasters to improve their public speaking. And the other big aspect that people then find is the leadership skills obtained by taking leadership roles in the organization. I think sometimes the less commonly discussed aspect of all this is that uh is the voluntary aspect. And I did you mentioned volunteering before, and I had noticed that on your LinkedIn profile that you've done quite an impressive amount of volunteering for some very worthy causes. Was it was it the domestic violence thing that was at the first one, or was there something else that got you into volunteering?

SPEAKER_00 40:18

I set it up, I think that might have been the first. I'm trying to think. Oh no, it was Big Brothers, Big Sisters, which is in school mentoring. But I just go to school and I help students become better speakers, better. I spent an hour with with one particular student every week and just teach them to read better. Because sometimes some parents don't have time to do homework with them, help them with their homework, help them do every little thing that they need within an hour. So 15 minutes we do homework, 15 minutes reading, and then the other half hour we do whatever we want, whether it's playing volleyball, basketball, puzzles. And that's usually for elementary school or middle school. So I'll do that. So that was my very first volunteering. And I thought I could even do it more. So the next thing I volunteered is with the at the women's shelter, helping women who have been impacted by domestic violence. And uh the other two that I can mention, because I know you can go on and on. The other two is uh I also volunteer for palliative care, and uh, that's people who are in the last phases of their lives. So I will go to the hospital and I will be just there with the family because their loved one is just in their last phases, and sometimes the family's been there all day long. So I'll just be in the room while they go get a cup of tea, or just walk around because they're emotionally drained. So I'm thus just there with a loved one, whether it's to read a story, give them a cup of tea, or just be just be there and not say anything so that their loved one is with somebody. So that's palliative care. And the last one is uh the Canadian Cancer Society. I know you do that. One of the other things is that I'm a co-writer. I co-authored a book called Living, The Secrets to Living a Fantastic Life. And my co-author, Dr. Barry Leica, is a dermatologist, and his specialty was skin cancer.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

So he he shared a lot of things about that particular area. And we were just fundraising. So I would always volunteer for events to help people really get more education about skin cancer, you know, protecting your skin.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

You know all about that. I was gonna say bravo, good for you. That's that's that's amazing. It's fabulous. I don't know where you find the time for all this. What is your motive? I mean, that's just so wonderful of you to be there for people doing all this voluntary work. What has motivated you? What I understand from you had this personal experience with the domestic violence fund, but with all these other ones, what has motivated you to be so giving of your time and self?

SPEAKER_00 42:49

I feel like for for the palliative care, that was uh part of it. Was um my father was uh in palliative care, and I saw how kind the nurses were. And I said, one day when I'm ready, I would love to do that. So when I was ready emotionally and mentally, I went I decided to start doing that. And such a huge difference. And then with the other skin cancer, I've seen people around me who just is just going, taking care of your skin. And Dr. Leica told me a lot about what what the difference will be, just the education and awareness is so important. You can save a life by just sharing the education. So I just like making a difference in people's lives. I just if I can do it, why not?

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Good on you. You're a champion. I mean, you're from the city of champions, aren't they?

SPEAKER_03 43:43

That's right. Yeah, we just haven't done anything lately.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Or you're still the city of champs.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

I believe as we grow and develop new skills and interests, these aren't in isolation. They influence each other to a greater or lesser extent. I I think we have like a cross pollination going on. And it works both ways. Ways has has Toastmasters had an influence on other aspects of your life? And have other aspects of your life influenced Toastmasters?

SPEAKER_00 44:09

I think it has. In some ways, ironically, or maybe uh coincidentally, I'm an outro marathon runner. And what I've learned about Toastmaster is when you're speaking on stage, you need to pace yourself. You need to take your time and you need to make sure you're aware of your audience, aware of what's who who's receiving your message. So using those skills and that experience, when I'm doing my outra marathon, which is, I don't know if your audience are familiar with outro marathon, it's uh any race that's over 50 kilometers. So it'll be basically running from Brisbane to Gold Coast. Gold Coast? I don't know if that's uh how far that is. So that's like a 30-hour race. So if you're gonna run a race like that without sleeping, because some people think you sleep during the race, so when I'm running that, it's all a mindset, but it's also pacing yourself, being aware of what's around you. So with Toastmaster, knowing that I'm on stage, I'm pacing myself, I'm aware of what's going on. So when I'm running a race like that, I'm pacing myself. I can't go too fast. If I do, I'm timing out. So it has really helped me with a lot of aspects in my life, especially in my running, and also the confidence part, of course, that goes without saying when you Toastmaster become more confident. You just want to support other people too when you when you are when you're doing Toastmaster. It's helped me with volunteering even more, I think.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Is there anything else you'd like to share with us today, Harriet?

SPEAKER_00 45:43

I think you've covered a lot of things, uh, but uh, if I was to really share anything, I I think one of the biggest things is people taking care of of their themselves, self-care. And I like to use, and it's not it's not my original acronym, I call it time. And I don't know where I read it, I read it somewhere. So when I share with people, I want them to focus on time, which is every day. Take something beautiful, thankful. Be thankful for anything that you wake up in the morning. It's it's similar to gratitude, but you be more thankful. And then I wake up and have and read something inspirational. Educate your mind, always growing, whether it's reading a something, uh listening to a podcast, for example, like this one. That's something, you know, it's inspirational. Get something out of it, or read a good book in the morning or whatever. So something inspirational every day. And then is for meditation. And meditation doesn't mean you have to sit and because everybody meditates differently. It could be maybe you're walking for a walk and you're just listening to the word to the to the birds or whatever it is, whatever your version of meditation is, just be in the present and really get your mind clear. And then E, of course, is exercise. It's about movement. When you're feeling like when you're whenever you're feeling you're down and you're not happy, just move. It's all about physical movement, and that will change your state of mind. And then S, I always add S is sleep. I mean, for me, I I function with four hours of sleep. I can sleep more than four hours. Four hours is all I need in my life, but I'm not encouraging anybody whatsoever to do that. Just sleep with what makes sense for you. So that's times. Thankfulness, something inspirational, meditate, exercise, and sleep. So if I was to leave something for your audience, something to do is do the self-care by just making sure you're taking care of times.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 47:46

That's really beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

Yeah, I just concerned that you know, with the exercise, do we have to run 160 Ks or and how often do we have to do that?

SPEAKER_00 47:56

That's um that's some compulsory. Everybody must run that long. No, on a serious note. It's just movement. Even if, like if you're sitting for an hour in the office, I I have my watch, it always talks to me and tells me, move. So just be mindful and just always try to move every hour. Whether it's you to get up and stretch or go get a cup of tea or walk around the block, whatever it is, just do a bit of movement. Even stretching, like if you're stretching, at least you get that blood circulation going. It's just movement. Yeah. It doesn't have to be strenuous or over the top like what I do.

SPEAKER_01 48:31

Right. I'm relieved. Excellent advice. Does your club uh welcome visitors?

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Oh, yeah. I think all club, I imagine all Toastmaster clubs do. Yeah, definitely. You can always go on Toastmaster.org and you can just look at the clubs that really align with your time and just visit. I've done that many times. I'm like, oh, this one looks like a it aligns with my time. So I go in and they're always welcoming. I've never been to a Toastmaster meet club where they say, no, we don't want you here. They're always so welcoming.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

Are either of your clubs online?

SPEAKER_00 49:05

Yes, contest mastery is all they're all virtual. We don't do a lot of hybrid. All of all of ours are all virtual. And I know with the clubs, contests coming up, a lot of the contests are all gonna be in person.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

Is it virtual because it's so cold in Edmonton?

SPEAKER_00 49:23

Yeah, and it allows us to have more other people from outside all over the world. But when it comes to contests, uh you probably don't want to compete in our club because that means because Tosmassa International's new rule now is I think after club, everything has to be in person. So it's competing. So you can be in our club, but you won't be able, unless you're flying over to the city of Champions every contest. You can.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

Yeah, but everyone's welcome. Like I really, I would really welcome anybody who wants to join our club. Contest masteries one, we do it every Wednesday. Um it's always a different time. I think it's Pacific at five o'clock, but I am mountain time. And also the other ones that I go to is every also look it up. It's the way we speak.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

Uh-huh. The way we speak.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

So that's one. The second one is Brown Lee's Best. That's my home. That's the one that I'm I'm actually paid my fees this year.

SPEAKER_03 50:21

I see.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

And the other ones I just am a guest, and then the other one is Learn Tur. Learn Ter. Like L-E-A-R-N-T-O-R. So that's the one in Nigeria. And that's on Sundays.

SPEAKER_03 50:34

Yeah. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 50:35

Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Harriet. It's been just such an honor and such a pleasure. And you really did belong the city of Champions. I think you should be their mascot. Thank you so I know.

SPEAKER_00 50:47

I'd be like, hey, give me an E, give me a D. F-O-N-T-O-N, City of Champions, Edmonton.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 51:03

Thanks for listening to today's show. One of the key elements of Toastmasters is evaluations. This is how we grow and improve, both by encouraging comments for things we got right and points for improvement. We all learn and benefit from these evaluations, not just the person being evaluated. So any feedback in the comments is greatly appreciated. If you have a Toastmaster story you'd like to share or would like to be on the show, I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at Toastmasters World Tour at gmail.com. Thanks for listening.